Stinks like success

178.4!!!
15:00 rowing machine
15:00, 1.08 miles on treadmill
20:00 lifting
35 sit ups

I stink right now, and I couldn't be happier.  I smell like stinky achievement! 

My morning started out with me blearily staring at my scale trying to figure out why the last number had jumped from a 1 to an 8... then I realized in my sleepy haze that 178.4 is less than 181 and that this was a good thing! My day was off to a great start.  After Seth dropped the kids off at school we headed to the gym and got to it. 

My rowing was stronger today, but I never quite found my rhythm.  Next I chose a treadmill next to Seth so I could work out the tightness that creeps into my posture when I use the rowing machine. The weight lifting went great and today I really like what I am starting to see.  My arms are really looking stronger, I am feeling confident again, and by golly I can work up a good stink!  After I lifted we needed to leave so Seth could pick our kindergartner up in time so he just dropped me off at the house on the way.  It felt good to do sit ups while my muscles were still twitchy and I smelt like hard work.  Its gonna be a great day.

renamed: These will be great before pictures

182.4
5:17, .27 mile warm up walk
18:57, 1.24 mile run
5:45, .27 mile cool down walk

The good news is, I went for a run.  The bad news is, I think I may have horrified the neighborhood.

I don't think I have ever felt so self conscious on a run.  I don't think my self image had caught up with the changes taking place on the scale until I was standing in the restroom getting my heart rate monitor sensors wet.  I glanced up at the mirror and realized my tummy was hanging over the top of my tiny little running shorts!

I can only hope that these will make great "before" photos next year!  This is not who I want to be.  And I will get there, Jessica's just not done yet.

1:18:28, 4 miles

173.7
1:18:28, 4 mile walk to work

Our department was down a man today so I was going to come in to cover my coworkers lunch breaks.  I woke up too late to dedicate to a good run (with all the gathering of gear, driving some place, exercising, driving home, showering, getting ready for work, etc.), so I decided to get my exercise and save some gas at the same time.  While the temperature of 83 degrees with cloud cover made it seem like a good idea, I forgot to factor in the 50% humidity, so I ended up a little soggy.

This morning I read about a study on people who have lost a lot of weight.  The ones who successfully kept it off did the obvious stuff like continuing their diet and exercise routines.  But they "also engaged in more positive self-talk" while those who regained "identified decreased accountability and decreased motivation as barriers to keeping the weight off."  Hmmm, makes me think that keeping a blog about my fitness struggles and successes is a very good idea!

Oh, and by the way, this morning's walk means I exceeded my goal of 5 hours of exercise this week.  Celebrate every victory, no matter how small.

Rest days, not my forte

175.3

I blame the buttered popcorn, Dr Pepper, and roasted pecans at the movie theater yesterday.  Or it could be the 2 slices of my mom's delicious key lime pie.  Yes folks, this is the real reason why I still need to lose 30 pounds.

While I might take back the second slice of pie, or the refills on the popcorn and soda, I wouldn't skip them forever.  I enjoy food.  I have been making (mostly) healthier meal choices, the food journal is helping a little with that.  But food is fuel, and a part of many social rituals (like popcorn when your dad takes you to watch a super hero movie), and I refuse to give it up in the extreme manner some do.  This is okay, because I want to get stronger, not just skinnier, and that requires lots of exercise which in turn needs calories.   Of course I could use some improvement in the quality of those calories...

So today my assigned exercise is: nothing.  I'm actual ahead on my goal for the week (Sunday's run and weights didn't get listed on here) with 249 of 300 minutes of exercise already completed.  So I am doing the hardest part of my training- rest!  Sounds silly, I am really really bad at resting.  Already I have tried to go running since I got home from work, and Seth has had to tell me no.  Its easy to ignore rest, but it is very important because your body needs a chance to heal and catch up with the training.

Tomorrow I work a later shift, so hopefully I will be able to run in the cool of the morning.  I think I will work on some speed work, although speed is relative and I am most definitely a slow runner.  Oh well, back to resting with the only thing that I will sit still for: a good book!

Jessica's not done yet

This morning I weighed 175.4 pounds.  I am 5 foot 4 inches.  This is not a horrible ratio, and I am proud of how far I have come.  But its not good enough yet.  Jessica's not done yet.

Where I'm coming from:
I was between 130 and 150 in high school.  I could eat anything I wanted, and really the only reason I ever worked out back then was  when I wanted to tone my arms so I would look great in my dress for my senior prom.

Well then I went to college and put on the freshmen 15+, got married and put on "happy weight," had two babies and put on, well you get the idea.  I was in the 250s at age 23.  My weight went up and down a bit, until I in January 2009 I had my quarter life crisis.  It was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

 May 2009

January 2009, approaching my 25th birthday, I had an awakening:  none of our friends knew who I really was (inside at least).  They saw me as a pleasant, plump, mild mannered mother of two.  Even more shocking was realizing that the reason they saw me that way was because that was who I had become!  Something had to change.  I had to change.  So I did.  I weighed 216 pounds, and I set a rather ambitious goal of losing 61 pounds for a new me of 155.  I started counting calories, trying to work out a little, and then had some success with the Daniel Diet.

I also decided to go to grad school and in July 2009 uprooted my family from our comfortable small town life.  I was down to 198 at this point.  Moving on campus I was able to take advantage of the university's gym and I met a fantastic trainer who gave me the tools I needed to start making the changes I wanted to see in myself.  I started keeping a fitness journal (a tool that I have valued ever since) and my trainer made me start the Couch to 5k plan.  A funny thing happened, I who hated running, discovered one day that I was a runner! 

I worked out, I ate better and very slowly pounds began to slowly come off.  I reached my goal of 155 pounds in June 2011, and it was such an amazing feeling to look down at the scale and see that number. 




Me at 155 and smiling






But then new path opened before me and I got a fantastic job as a circulation manager at a brand new library.  The change in my schedule effected my workouts and my coworkers are actually diabolical cooking genius on a mission to make and keep me fat.  I was back up to 165 by Thanksgiving, and as I started training for my 1st marathon, the scale just kept climbing and I was back in the 170s by springtime.

So that brings us to where I am today.  41 pounds lighter, and a lot stronger than I was in January  2009.  I'm not "fat" but I'm not skinny.  And most importantly, I'm not as fast or as strong as I would like to be.  My goals have changed too. 

My goals:
I want to get down to a very strong 145 (so another 30 more pounds to go).  
Run a sub 3 hour half marathon
Run more marathons, but better prepared this time around
Complete an ultra marathon by age 35
Run the Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc by age 45
How I am going to get there:
I decided last week that I needed some new behaviours if I am going to get new (and better) results, so I made a list of rules to help me change my behaviors in sustainable ways.  So here is what I am trying right now:

• No TV except on Fridays and Saturdays.  TV keeps me up later, keeps me from working out, and has no benefits.
• Keep a food diary every day.  One week a month I will count calories (but not limit them, this is an audit only)
• Attempt to work out 5 hours a week.  Its too easy to say work out 5 times a week and then cut corners by counting 15-30 minute runs.  I need to increase my actual time to increase my results.
• Train for the Route 66 half marathon in November.  Getting back on a training plan will also help give me direction.
• Keep this fitness blog. Making my actual weight and workout stats public makes me more likely to stick to it and succeed.