A bit of perspective

46:38, 8.13 mile bicycling

Since I got sick last week, I have just been exhausted!  I had trouble getting up this morning, even though I slept in past 10.  I decided that I was going to ride my bike to work (another 6 day workweek) since it was doubtful I would get in a workout otherwise.  My heart rate stayed higher than I would have liked it to on the way to work, possibly because I am out of shape or because I am still sick. It was frustrating to feel like I had lost so much of the fitness gains and regained so much of the weight lost.

All of this left me feeling really discouraged this evening.  Unfortunately this has been too normal lately, and I get frustrated that I am not where I want to be (that Jessica's not done yet).  I laid on the couch after dinner, pondering my excessive schedule this week and how in the world to fit in exercise when there are so many other demands on my time and energy, then  for some reason I decided I needed to look at my finisher's medals.  So I took them all out of the box and lined them up. 

I thought about the woman who was so out of shape in 2009 that she couldn't keep up with her mom when they took the kids to the zoo.  I thought about those first laps around the track at the gym, when running always made me puke.  I thought of how frustrating my first 5k was in March 2011.  I thought about the other races, the ones without medals.  Jessica's not done yet, but she is a long way from where she was!  Looking at these tangible representations of miles run, and the blood and sweat that accompanied them, my optimism is restored.  Yes, I have hit roadblocks, yes I have failed at my own rules, yes I am not there yet.  But I am a runner, and I will continue to keep pushing forward.

A couple weeks ago I came across a quote that has stuck with me:

"There will be days when I don't know if I can run a marathon. There will be a lifetime knowing that I have."

- Unknown

And what a sweet knowledge it is.