Physical Therapy

182.5
2:14:18, 6.5 mile trail run/hike

My weight gain has been bugging me a lot lately, but this morning it was just too much.  The dress I had intended to wear didn't fit.  The second dress at least went on, but it was far from flattering today.  I started crying as I resigned myself to pants.  And I kept crying. Hard.  (Not normal for me, I totally blame hormones)  I was just so frustrated at feeling like I was stuck inside someone else's  body, and so scared of going back to where I was before.  I was too much of a mess, so I decided to call my boss and take a personal day, rather than inflict this on anyone else.

When you take a day off like this you have 2 choices: lay in your pajamas feeling sorry for yourself while you eat chocolate, or put on your running shoes and seek some cleansing sweat.  I was out of chocolate, so I opted for a trail run.

I have had pick-me-up trail runs backfire on me before: you end up feeling like a failure because you can't perform at the level you expected.  So I gave myself permission to walk as much as I wanted, and to run as slow as I needed.  Today was about time in the woods, not meeting any goals. 

It was a glorious day at Lake Thunderbird! By a mile in, things were straightening themselves out. By mile 3 my confidence was back and the future looked brighter.  I ran Blue loop, which I haven't run in a long time, and I had forgotten how beautiful it was.  The recent rains had greened the woods up, there were little clearings of purple thistle and blooming ragweed (pretty for those of us not cursed with allergies), and beautiful views of the lake.  I saw butterflies, lizards, and quite a few whitetail deer.  My energy levels were the best they had been in a while and I was able to just enjoy running.  I walked a lot to take in the scenery, sometimes just stopping to stare and be grateful.

So now I am wornout, sore toed (all that up and down hill), and very content.